How the Rich Build a Joyful, Guilt-Free Relationship with Their Expenses: A 7-Step Indian Guide

“Taresh, I’ve spent my entire life counting rupees. Now, when I finally have enough, I don’t even feel like spending.”

This confession came from a retired doctor during one of my “Richness Clarity Sessions.” She had a comfortable portfolio—solid mutual funds, debt-free property, and a well-funded retirement corpus. On paper, she was more than financially free. But emotionally? She was stuck in a scarcity loop.

She’s not alone.

Over the last two decades of coaching thousands of Indian families—senior professionals, DINK couples, entrepreneurs, and retired women—I’ve observed a pattern: many people earn well, save diligently, but feel anxious, guilty, or even ashamed when it comes to spending.

They say things like:
        •       “I’m not a spender.”
        •       “What if I run out later?”
        •       “Why waste money on these luxuries?”

In fact, some clients feel uncomfortable even talking about their expenses. They meticulously track every rupee, postpone vacations, skip social events, and avoid small joys—only to later wonder: What was I saving for all this time?

Let me be clear: This is not frugality. This is financial disconnection.

And that’s what we’re going to change—right here, right now.

Let’s explore the 7 steps I personally use to help my clients build a positive, empowering relationship with their expenses.

Step 1: Reframe Spending as an Expression of Your Values

I often tell my clients, “Spending is not the enemy. Mindless spending is.”

Healthy spending is a conscious decision to exchange money for something that adds value to your life—comfort, health, experiences, relationships, and time.

I once worked with a Gurugram-based couple earning ₹50 lakh annually. Despite their success, they still argued over every restaurant bill and shopping purchase. Why? Because spending felt wrong.

We rewired their thinking. We built a values-based spending plan:
        •       ₹5,000/month for family dining
        •       ₹10,000/quarter for personal care
        •       ₹25,000/year for memorable travel
Suddenly, the same spending felt joyful—not guilty.

 Ask yourself: Does my spending reflect what matters to me—family, peace of mind, health, growth?

If not, the problem isn’t the expense. It’s the disconnection from your values.

 Step 2: Acknowledge the Emotional Cost of Over-Frugality

There’s a fine line between frugality and emotional starvation.

A gentleman I coached in Pune had over ₹8 crore in investments. Still, he never took his wife on vacation, avoided turning on the air conditioner in summer, and reused clothes from 10 years ago.

When I asked why, he said, “It’s not needed. I’m content.”

But his wife wasn’t. His children weren’t. And frankly, he was hiding fear under the garb of contentment.

Excessive frugality isn’t noble if it comes at the cost of:
        •       Quality of life
        •       Family warmth
        •       Health and comfort
        •       Lost experiences

Reminder: You are not meant to just preserve wealth. You are meant to experience life with it. Balance matters.

Step 3: Anchor Your Expenses to Income and Wealth, Not Emotion

I teach a simple rule in my Couple Finance Formula™:

“Never measure an expense in isolation. Always measure it in proportion.”

Let’s say you want to spend ₹50,000 on home improvement. It may feel “too much”—but what if your total wealth is ₹2 crore? That’s just 0.025%.

Framing matters.

Use these mental anchors:
        •       Annual income × 1–3% for travel
        •       House value × 1% for maintenance
        •       Emergency fund × 0.5% for lifestyle upgrades

It makes essential spending feel logical, not emotional.

Try this: Next time you feel reluctant about a purchase, anchor it to your net worth or annual income. You’ll gain clarity.

Step 4: Avoid the “Opportunity Cost Excuse” Trap

Many avoid spending with clever arguments:
        •       “Why buy coffee when I can make it at home?”
        •       “Why travel abroad when we haven’t explored Himachal?”
        •       “Why upgrade the car when the old one still runs?”

These sound smart. But ask yourself:
Did you actually make that coffee at home, or just skipped the experience altogether?
Did you really visit Himachal—or just stay back home?

This is classic avoidance behavior masked as logic.

The key: Be honest with yourself. If the alternative truly satisfies you, go for it. But if it’s an excuse to avoid all joy—time to reconsider.

Step 5: Spot Where Shame Is Disguised as Simplicity

Sometimes people say, “I’m simple. I don’t need much.” But the tone tells another story—one of hidden shame.

A senior executive I advised had a basic feature phone. Not out of minimalism—but because he felt embarrassed buying a smartphone at his age. His children mocked him, and he missed many work calls. He wasn’t saving money—he was shrinking his world.

True simplicity comes from choice. Not compulsion. Not shame.

Check yourself:

        •       Do you hide your purchases?
        •       Do you wear old clothes because you’re uncomfortable upgrading?
        •       Do you reject gifts because you feel undeserving?

If yes, you may be carrying unresolved money shame. And it’s time to let go.

Step 6: Observe How Others Respond to Your Spending Energy

Do your friends stop inviting you to dinners? Do colleagues not involve you in holiday plans? Do your siblings avoid financial conversations with you?

Sometimes, our energy around money repels people.

One of my clients in Bengaluru had a reputation: “He never pays.”
He would delay bill splitting, forget gifts, and always suggest “cheaper” venues.
Eventually, people stopped including him.

When he realized this, he was shocked. Not because he lacked money—but because he never saw himself through others’ eyes.

Ask:

        •       Are you being left out?
        •       Do people hesitate discussing money with you?
        •       Do you joke too often about being “stingy”?

The way you show up with money impacts your relationships.

Step 7: Design a Conscious, Joyful Spending Practice

Now that you’ve examined your patterns—here’s how to heal them:

My 5-Step Rich Spending Ritual:

 1.      Create a “Happiness Budget”
Allocate 2–5% of your monthly income for guilt-free joy: hobbies, dining, gifts, small upgrades.
        2.      Plan “Value Spends” Quarterly
Example: Premium mattress, ergonomic chair, domestic vacation, online course, charity.
        3.      Celebrate Purchases That Reflect Growth
Buy books, tools, or experiences that fuel your purpose or enhance your life.
        4.      Track Satisfaction, Not Just Costs
Maintain a journal: “How did this purchase make me feel?”
        5.      Review Spending Weekly as a Ritual, Not a Punishment
Light a candle, play soft music, and review with your spouse or family.

Bonus Tip: Create a “Give with Grace” envelope. Spend 1% of income on others—gratuity, help, generosity. It opens emotional abundance.

 Final Words: Are You Living Rich or Just Saving?

Let me leave you with this question: I ask my clients:

“If tomorrow you couldn’t spend your money, would you regret the life you’ve lived?”

Because your money is a tool. Not a trophy.
It’s meant to serve your joy, growth, relationships, and experiences.

Yes, save smartly.
Yes, invest wisely.
But also—spend consciously and joyfully.

Because you’ve earned it. And more importantly, you deserve it.

Recap: The 7 Steps to Heal Your Expense Perspective

Step  Mindset Shift
1       Reframe spending as a values-based decision
2 Recognise the emotional costs of over-frugality
3       Anchor spending to income or wealth, not emotion
4       Avoid false “opportunity cost” arguments
5       Spot shame masquerading as simplicity
6       Observe how others perceive your money habits
7       Build a joyful, intentional spending practice

Ready to Build Your Richness Mindset?

Join my LIVE Masterclass and learn how to align your money mindset with your lifestyle goals—without guilt, confusion, or fear.

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Taresh Bhatia, CFP®
CERTIFIED financial-planner-gurgaon/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">FINANCIAL PLANNER™
Founder – The Richness Academy

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