By CFP Taresh Bhatia
Founder – The Richness Academy
Introduction:
Why Money, Not Love, Breaks Most Relationships
Over the last three decades, as I have worked with thousands of couples—young professionals, entrepreneurs, second-marriage families, and retired partners—I have seen one truth repeat itself quietly but consistently:
Money does not create conflict.
Unspoken money rules do.
Most couples never fight about numbers.
They fight about expectations, control, fear, silence, and assumptions.
Just like relationships have unspoken emotional rules, successful couples also follow unspoken money rules—often without even realising it.
Today, I want to articulate the 7 money rules that emotionally secure and financially stable couples live by, consciously or subconsciously.
These rules are not about being rich.
They are about being aligned.
Rule #1: Never Embarrass Each Other Financially—Respect Comes First
I have seen couples joke publicly about:
- “He doesn’t know where the money goes”
- “She spends without thinking”
- “He is useless with finances”
These statements may sound casual—but they cause deep financial insecurity.
When one partner feels belittled, they:
- Withdraw from money discussions
- Hide mistakes
- Lose confidence in decision-making
💡 Money harmony begins with dignity.
Private discussions.
Public respect.
Always.
Rule #2: Choose Financial Partnership Every Day—Even on Unequal Income Days
In Indian households, income differences are common:
- One partner earns more
- One partner takes career breaks
- One partner handles home, parents, or children
The healthiest couples understand this deeply:
Money is not a competition.
It is a contribution system.
Some contribute money.
Some contribute time.
Some contribute stability.
Long-lasting harmony comes when couples choose partnership over ego—daily.
Rule #3: Small Money Irritations Must Be Spoken—Before They Become Resentment
Many couples ignore:
- “It’s just ₹5,000”
- “It’s not worth fighting over”
- “Let it go”
But unresolved money irritations quietly become:
- Control issues
- Passive aggression
- Silent judgement
💡 Money silence is not peace.
It is delayed conflict.
Couples who thrive financially talk early, gently, and regularly.
Rule #4: Protect Your Money Decisions from Too Many Outsiders
Relatives, friends, colleagues, and even social media “experts” love giving advice.
But I tell couples clearly:
Not everyone advising you is invested in your future.
Strong couples:
- Decide privately
- Seek professional guidance
- Present a united front
Your financial plan must serve your goals, not society’s opinions.
Rule #5: Appreciate Small Financial Efforts—Money Love Languages Matter
One partner may:
- Track expenses
- Remember bill dates
- Compare policies
- Plan holidays within budget
Another may:
- Earn steadily
- Save quietly
- Support family silently
When these efforts go unnoticed, resentment grows.
💡 Money harmony grows where effort is acknowledged—not just income.
Gratitude is a powerful financial stabiliser.
Rule #6: Fight the Money Problem—Not Each Other
I often remind couples during sessions:
“You are not the problem.
The problem is the problem.”
EMIs, cash flow stress, market volatility, or medical expenses are external pressures.
Strong couples:
- Sit on the same side of the table
- Solve together
- Avoid blame
Money problems are temporary.
Relationship damage can be permanent.
Rule #7: Radical Financial Honesty Builds Unshakeable Trust
Hidden accounts.
Undisclosed loans.
Secret investments.
Nothing damages a relationship faster than financial secrets.
Mistakes can be corrected.
Losses can be repaired.
But broken trust is expensive—emotionally and financially.
💡 Transparency is the strongest investment couples can make.
Final Thought: Money Harmony Is a Daily Practice
Couples who last financially don’t have perfect systems.
They have clear conversations.
They don’t avoid money.
They respect it, discuss it, and design it together.
And that is exactly what financial planning is meant to do.
If you are a couple reading this:
Start with one rule.
Practice it consciously for 30 days.
Your money—and your relationship—will feel lighter.
Disclaimer: The views expressed are for educational purposes only and do not constitute financial, investment, tax, or legal advice. Please consult qualified professionals before making decisions. Mutual fund investments are subject to market risks.
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The author of this article, Taresh Bhatia, is a Certified Financial Planner® and advocate for female empowerment. For more information and personalized financial guidance, please contact taresh@tareshbhatia.com
He has authored an Amazon best seller-“The Richness Principles”. He is the Coach and founder of The Richness Academy, an online coaching courses forum. This article serves educational purposes only and does not constitute financial advice. Consultation with a qualified financial professional is recommended before making any investment decisions. An educational purpose article only and not any advice whatsoever.
©️2025: All Rights Reserved. Taresh Bhatia. Certified Financial Planner®
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